My life and my thoughts - on faith, culture, politics, whatever comes to my mind

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Life on autopilot...

Do you know the feeling that your life is on autopilot? Everything just happens automatically. I get up early, get to work, do whatever should be done (collecting material for my professor, organize a seminar, answer student questions on the phone ...), work on my PhD thesis or an article I have to write, get back home, read or watch some TV, go to bed early cause I'm just soo tired. Enjoy being around Markus though tons! Sarah is in the States, so we haven't had any coffee lately (you're not the only one missing her, Dave :)). Vera's really busy. But Ulrike's coming tomorrow!
But still everything feels kind of stale, the usual, unexiting. I feel like I'm just going through the motions or I could just be a robot.
I love life, but for the moment the passion and the exitement are missing. Lost them somewhere... I wonder if that's how people feel after being in the same job for several years. (Just imagine: 20 years doing the same thing - aaahh!)
It's strange, cause even small special things happening do not really get me out of this feeling. I'm so glad Ulrike is visiting and friends come for dinner on saturday and I'm incredable happy with Markus. But some kind of fog or something is covering everything...
Wonder why? Really want excitement and passion and my big smile back! I'm getting kind of on my own nerves, but this is just how I feel at the moment. Wonder where God's taking me through this.