My life and my thoughts - on faith, culture, politics, whatever comes to my mind

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Harmful day dreaming

I am sitting on the front porch, the sun is shining, it is spring. The air is sweet with the fragrance of honeysuckle and roses. The rocking chair slightly creaks. But not loud enough to wake my four week old baby daughter, the newest addition to our family. On the lawn three tousle-haired boys play noisely, jumping around and enjoying themselves. Once in a while one of them comes up to hug me and carefully kiss his little sister. Dinner is in the oven and just now my beloved enters through the garden door, swings the youngest boy up on his shoulder and walks towards me smiling ...

This is my dream. My beloved and I, a happy family with several children. I am at home to care for them. Reality is different. My beloved is there, of couse, and makes life so much fun and special. And I do enjoy my legal work, although I do not look forward to the bar exam because of all the work it will be until next June...

And here I go again, likening my life to the life I dream of. Day dreams and plans for the future are a normal part of our lives. They are not bad in themselves. But when they start making me discontent with the life I have or keep my from concentrating on the tasks at hand, then they are harmful. It is much easier to dream of days to come instead of diligently working on the next file or studying criminal procedures. But this is not how I should live my life. God put me into the here-and-now. Here I have a purpose and now there are things to be done – by me and in the position in life I have now. Here are other people to take care of – to listen to – to lend a helping hand – or to just be a friend. Now God wants to teach me, lessons that will help me later in life. It would be such a mistake to miss these lessons and these opportunities because of a dream.